One way to think about this is to consider the various adventures younger people pursue to find themselves. “That sort of exploration to see what fits and feels like you may be the process by which you can start to figure out what sort of ordinary life to build,” Mr. Bhattacharjee said.
Once you know yourself, the deliberate pursuit of more ordinary things can then deliver that same level of happiness. It doesn’t hurt, either, that you may appreciate the ordinary much more once you’re more aware of the decreasing number of years you have left to enjoy it.
“…These games also tend to frame misogyny and sexual exploitation as an everlasting fact of life, as something unescapable and unchangeable. This dominant narrative surrounding the inevitability of female objectification and victimhood is so powerful that it not only defines our concepts of reality, but it even sets the parameters for how we think about entirely fictional worlds, even those taking place in the realms of fantasy and science fiction.
It’s so normalized that when these elements are critiqued, the knee-jerk response I hear most often is that: if these stories did not include the exploitation of women, then the game world would feel too unrealistic or not historically accurate.
What does it say about our culture when games routinely bend or break the laws of physics, and no one bats an eye, when dragons, ogres, and magic are inserted into historically-influenced settings without objection? We’re perfectly willing to suspend our disbelief when it comes to multiple lives, superpowers, health regeneration, and the ability to carry dozens of weapons in a massive invisible backpack. But somehow, the idea of a world without sexual violence and exploitation is deemed too strange, and too bizarre, to be believable.”—
Ever seen Maslow’s hierarchy of human needs? Forget about it. Marketers still learn it in school, but psychologists left it behind a long time ago.
There are 14 things that humans will always be motivated to gain or protect: Avoiding death, avoiding pain, air, water, food, homeostasis (bodily functions), sleep, sex, love, protection of children, status, affiliation, justice, and understanding each of those things better.
All of those things will have an audience — and trigger emotional responses to different degrees — but on the internet, Status, Affiliation, Justice, & Understanding are particularly useful because they are just ideas. They are also unlimited, and you can create them from scratch, for free.
Over the past few years, I’ve been focusing on reducing what I own, and working towards having a more minimal and flexible life, one where I can travel freely. It’s been going well, and while I’ve casually picked up a few blogs and subs that are inspiring or written by like-minded people, I started collecting a list in earnest a few weeks back. I’m looking for more recommendations. Here’s what I have so far:
“Dawkins’ Tweets are a sort of a test, like the pea which the prince put under the princess’s mattress in one of those fairy stories which Dawkins doesn’t think we should read to our kids. Make a trivial logical statement, wrapped up in horrible example that makes light of what is, for quite a lot of people, the worst thing that happened to them in their whole lives. And watch people’s reactions. Some people — the one who don’t believe in cultural meanings, feelings, or that language is complex — will only see the logical bit, and not be able to understand how anyone could be “offended” since the logic is sound. Other people will react to the horrible beliefs that are “signaled” by the text as a whole, and say that the logic of it is neither here nor there.”—
Rilstone’s points are an excellent example of logic vs pragmatism (or, some would say, rationality). Dawkins is logical, but his anger and irritation at muddy thinking, ironically, clouds his judgement. He may be correct, but he isn’t right.
Why has recognising the deep future been so difficult for humanity?
…The first, and most obvious reason, is simple human self-preoccupation. The line of evolution reaches us, and we find it hard to imagine it moving further. Hugely impressed with our own accomplishments, including those just listed, we give little thought to beings who might come after us or to ideas not yet a twinkle in evolution’s eye. There is also a more practical reason. Most human goals, including altruistic ones, rise or fall over the short period of a human lifetime. And although we might look back – even far back – with interest, perhaps to learn from our kind’s history, there is nothing in the far future that is similarly tied up with our goals. As a result, we haven’t developed the habits of mind necessary to consider it carefully.
“The influence of Key West upon Stevens’s poetry is evident in many of the poems published in his first two collections, Harmonium and Ideas of Order. In February 1935, Stevens encountered the poet Robert Frost at the Casa Marina. The two men argued, and Frost reported that Stevens had been drunk and acted inappropriately. The following year, Stevens allegedly assaulted Ernest Hemingway at a party at the Waddell Avenue home of a mutual acquaintance in Key West. Stevens broke his hand, apparently from hitting Hemingway’s jaw, and was repeatedly knocked to the street by Hemingway. Stevens later apologized. In 1940, Stevens made his final trip to Key West. Frost was at the Casa Marina again, and again the two men argued.”—
“Eclecticism is a conceptual approach that does not hold rigidly to a single paradigm or set of assumptions, but instead draws upon multiple theories, styles, or ideas to gain complementary insights into a subject, or applies different theories in particular cases.”—Eclecticism - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
“There are many reasons to set and meet deadlines. You may have PR lined up, or for financial reasons need to get something out at a certain time. And, to be clear, the concept of MVP has value, especially if you are building something completely different from everything else that exists. But if you have a hunch that what you’ve built isn’t good enough to test the viability of your idea, follow your gut. Move your deadline and get the product to a place where you are proud of it. Being first doesn’t mean you’re going to be successful. And you won’t be able to learn anything about the product being viable if it doesn’t work.”—
My new joke is that MVPs often forget about the “V” part. Though to be fair, it’s easy to forget that the app market has become so saturated in such a brief time. But it doesn’t matter. If you want to build the best [photo, mail, location sharing, review, weather, shopping] app out there you better bring your fucking A-game.
(I get that people are better-looking than average in NYC but seriously: I met some of them in real life and they are really good-looking and charming.)
At the beginning of the show, everybody has to find their own people to date, which is an interesting twist: if you were single, and had to find a bunch of dates for a show…how would you go about it?
1. Go to a bar or event and coast the joint
2. Go on Tinder and troll Facebook
3. Have your personal trainer set you up with someone
4. Have friends set you up
…Which is what the castmates all did, on camera. Then they had to make sure the people are cool with being video on their first date. And after the dates, they interview everybody to get the lowdown. (Ps: Remember Blind Date?)
I definitely feel for Ericka the most. The idea of going to a bar, getting phone numbers, and then being required to call them myself and ask them on a date sounds horrifying. I’m lazy. On the other hand, the fact that the fairly cute dentist turned down a Victoria’s Secret model, really puts the whole effort thing in perspective. It’s a rough dating world out there, folks.
The entire show is shot a week at a time and apparently if you tweet at the show you really do influence what happens (#thesinglesproject). I’ve definitely had a few friends live-tweet dates and respond to friends, so it’s interesting to see it in a TV capacity. Second episode is on tonight, Tuesday 10/9c on Bravo.
I study excellence, and I know that it doesn’t matter what domain a person who is excellent at what they do is in—there is always a meditative quality to their training and their performance. They may not train like you train at a monastery or at a retreat center, but certain qualities are there: right effort, wisdom, concentration, and faith or confidence.
I think we do ourselves a disservice when we predicate everything on this dualistic approach of sitting practice and then the rest of life. I think we’re limiting what meditation means. Dr. Dre says in one of his songs, “I got my mind on my money and my money on my mind”; whatever is on your mind, that’s your meditation.
“…why are gay and lesbian people not allowed to express traits that confirm a stereotype about them? I’m a straight, Asian American girl, currently wearing a baby blue sundress and sitting next to a fracking Hello Kitty fleece throw. I don’t come off like this on Reddit, but in person I’m giggly, cheerful, social, sensitive, and nurturing. I’m the stereotype to a T but not many people out there will complain to you that I’m “too straight” and it makes them feel uncomfortable. Why do I get away with this, but gay and lesbian people do not? Someone made a comment in this thread that they don’t like people making their “entire personalities about being gay”. I’d argue that we straight people do it all the time.
…I used to say to myself “You know, I just don’t like flamboyancy in general. It has nothing to do with gay people.” But the thing is, I had to be honest to myself… *I* am flamboyant. I’m flamboyant every time I giggle wearing high heels and a full face of makeup. And I really think the reason I’m okay with this is because I was socialized into thinking that flamboyancy is okay for ME, but not for other people.”—hello_gritty on gay stereotypes. Well worth reading the whole comment.