No, we’re not sexist, we’re narcissists: it’s not about you, it’s about us. Men believe they can convince people of their identity— convince a girl to like them. The whole male grammar is structured like this: get her into bed; get her to go out with me; show her what kind of a person I am. We think we can fool women for the same reason a 3 year old thinks he can manipulate his parents: sometimes they let us because they were going to do it anyway. You think you can convince her you’re tougher than you are, but you worry you can’t fool another guy because he “knows” toughness. But why would he know it any better than she? She knows you better than he does; and she knows men— and posturing and puffing up the chest— better than either of you. The only person who doesn’t know what kind of a person you are is you.
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